There is a ghost in my heart. His name is Bohemian Prince and he’s been there for many years. My mistake was believing he’d always be there. From the moment we met I liked him, and somehow he liked me too. It didn’t take us long to fall in love and to be young and stupid. Youth makes us foolish. Somehow, I always thought we’d find our way back to one another.
I remember the first time we broke up, it was for all of three days before I cut my hair to get his attention and it worked. I knew he’d like it. It got us talking again. For almost a year it didn’t matter what happened or who we were with, when we came to our senses everything else was just collateral damage.
Friends remind me that I wasn’t always happy. No, at the end I wasn’t happy but that was about me as much as it was about him.
Did he do things I didn’t like? Of course, but I also loved him. There was this connection I’ve never felt since. He wasn’t perfect but neither was I, yet somehow we were perfect for each other.
Every now and again fate would throw us together but somehow we never made the commitment. His mum told me he still missed me and I knew I still missed him but I guess the timing was off. Life is a complicated thing.
He’s with someone else now. I’ve tried to sway him but he isn’t leaving her. He’s admitted to having feelings and we talk in secret. He says things he shouldn’t and I play along because I’ll settle for whatever this is in order to be in his life. I have all the proof I need to tip the scales and ruin them. All I’d have to do is contact her and show her my phone. I doubt they’d make up after that. He’d be mad but I figure he’d forgive me someday and yet…I never do it.
If you love something let it go.
If it comes back never let go again.
I don’t know that I believe the part about it never having been yours if it doesn’t come back, because once upon a time he was mine. I was young, and stupid, but he made me a lot of what I am. He made me feel okay about who I am. My scars were just proof of my strength. Even when I was breaking apart he never doubted that strength.
If you love something let it go.
I still love him, so I’ll let him figure it out. Maybe he’ll come back. Maybe fate will throw us one more chance and this time I won’t take no for an answer. Bohemian Prince is the mold by which every other has been judged. I didn’t realize that for a long time but in the quiet of night it always comes down to how things are different. For better or worse he’s the standard.
If you love something let it go.
If it comes back, it’s meant to be.
